The Perfect Coward – A Valentine’s Day Message

I love the way you never look at me.  I adore the way you don’t even know I exist.  I worship the way you walk past me in corridors, without so much as a glance in my direction.  I cherish the fact that you’ve never caught me studying the perfect symmetry of your face, your lake-sized eyes, the elegance of your arms, the thoughtless choreography of your legs.  It’s perfect that you’ll never hear me speaking of your hair.

And I shall never pass comment on your dexterity when peeling an orange.  That won’t be happening.  And I will never complain about the way you reach up to hug him when he comes to collect you.  All things considered, I am loving the way we will never be alone together, though sometimes, it’s true, I do imagine us going shopping for stuff.  You could ask my advice.  And I would unexpectedly understand the world and all its ways.  How money works for example.  And people.

But in truth, if you actually spoke to me, I would surely die there and then.  On the spot.  And this much I do know – I am the perfect coward.  Much as I long for you I have no wish for an early grave.  So the way I see it, this slow, unspoken, wholly unnoticed yearning buys me some time before the endless aloneness awaiting us, you and me both.


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