I finally met my soulmate yesterday.
I was really looking forward to it. ‘How’s it going?’ I asked her.
‘If you were really my soulmate you wouldn’t have to ask.’
‘No, no, I was just trying to be polite.’
‘Since when was it polite to pretend you don’t know the answer to a question you’re asking?’
‘Hey, no, wait,’ I said. ‘You don’t understand me.’
‘I understand you too well,’ she said. ‘That, my friend, is the problem.’
And off she went. With her beautiful eyes.
So – as I was saying – I met my soulmate yesterday.
And it didn’t go as well as I’d hoped. Perhaps I aimed too high: the soul was probably too ambitious a currency.
Perhaps I should have gone for a hand mate. Or a foot mate.
Toenail mate anyone?