Some kids ran off with my fancy new phone yesterday. They must have guessed I was the type of man who doesn’t wear a watch. So when they asked for the time and I reached for my phone they grabbed it and ran off. Luckily, although you might not think it to look at me, I’ve been working out recently so I chased after them on foot. I think they were surprised by how well I kept up with them. But these were fat kids, out of shape, smokers most probably. After fifteen minutes or so they finally stopped, gasping for breath, standing by the river.
“Come on now,” I said, walking towards them, “you’ve had your fun. Give me back my phone.”
The tallest one looked at me. “Oh no, that wasn’t our fun,” he said. “This,” he explained, throwing the phone as far as he could into the river, “now this is our fun.”
So I leapt across the river and caught the phone just before it hit the water, landing safely on the other side.
‘Better luck next time lads,’ I shouted across to them, holding up my phone for them to admire. I doubt their mouths have closed yet.
Okay, okay, so I might have made the last bit up. But the real ending was a tad unsatisfying from my perspective. Look, what is you want from me? Bleak realism?