The new chief executive launched her strikingly bold strategy. Look, she said, I know the stuff we’ve spent all day discussing is wholly irrelevant to the lives of anyone on the planet but we need to pretend it actually matters. That way, she continued, we can give ourselves the illusion of significance. Otherwise we’ll have nothing to distract us from the complete oblivion awaiting us in just a few short months.
Excellent plan, they all agreed, nodding to each other.