Albert learns that Mr Nick is really lazy during the festive period

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‘Hold on, hold on’ Albert says.  ‘Let me get this straight.  You’re closing down the blog for Christmas until the new year?’

‘It’s only a few days,’ Mr Nick says, studying Albert’s tired shoes.  ‘Trust me – both our followers will understand.’

‘And just run through your plan for me again?’

‘Okay, Albert so……it’s like this……I eat and drink too much for about ten days, start reading about six books at the same time and then make lots of promises to myself about how I’m going to be a different person in 2017.’

Albert sighs.  ‘And you’re calling this a plan?’

‘It’s the best I can come with.’

‘And you can’t even be bothered to post fifty words a day because you’re too busy stuffing your face.’

‘Pretty much,’ Mr Nick agrees.

‘And you seriously think people will forgive you for this laziness if you write a short post-modern piece in which one of your characters speaks to the author about how you’re not posting for a while.’

‘Well it kind of worked in the summer.’

‘Mr Nick, you are such a loser!’

‘And what about you Albert ?  I don’t see you exactly getting out there and starting your own blog.’

‘Well that’s because I’m a fictional character.  Besides, I’m the only reason people read your blog at all. I’ve even had an offer of marriage.’

‘Albert, we both know you only got that offer because you don’t exist.  Women think that men that don’t really exist are comfortably the best sort.  Everyone knows that.’

‘You can hardly talk.  All you do is wave at women you don’t know from roof tops.  Or moan on about the one that got away and how it would be better if you’d met on a different planet.’

‘Thanks, as ever, for your kind support Albert.’

‘What if I learn something over the next few days and I need to tell people?’

‘It can wait Albert.  We’ll post it in the new year.’

‘Okay,’ Albert says.  ‘Have it your way.  But don’t come running to me if you lose both your followers.’

‘I’ll still have you, Albert,’ Mr Nick says.  ‘I’ll always have you.’

‘Well there’s no need to make it sound like a curse.’

‘Happy Christmas Albert.’

‘Okay, okay – happy Christmas to you too, Mr Nick.’

Albert and Mr Nick turn to the computer screen.  ‘And a Happy Christmas and New Year to all our lovely readers.’

‘Albert,’ Mr Nick says, ‘could you try that again with a bit more emotion this time please?’

Albert ponders the suggestion for a moment.  ‘Er…no,’ he concludes.

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18 thoughts on “Albert learns that Mr Nick is really lazy during the festive period

  1. Merry Christmas to you BOTH! Enjoy the break, don’t sweat it. I’m always here when you come back. Unless I’m gone myself. In that case, email me a million times until I get the hint 😉 cheers

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Where am I going to get my daily fix? And for ten days…that is beyond human endurance. I will try my best to get through this dreadful time alone; but also wishing you a very happy restful break.Please don’t be away for long? Norma.

    Liked by 2 people

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