Sometimes Albert covets other people’s houses. All that space, somewhere to park, spare bedrooms. An office even! More than one toilet. Then he remembers how he hates buildings surrounded by air. Best to huddle together in a terrace, he reasons. Far harder, that way, for predators to pick you off.
Queen Elizabeth was walking around her grounds in Balmoral with her security guard.
A couple of tourists, not recognising her, asked her some questions.
‘Is it actually true that the Queen of England stays here sometimes?’ they asked her.
‘I believe so, yes,’ the queen replied.
‘And have you ever actually seen her walking around here?’
The queen paused for a moment. ‘Well I haven’t, no,’ she replied. ‘But I believe he has,’ she said, gesturing towards her security guard.